The Influence of family in shaping one’s personality
The most significant impact on the education of the individual is the family, as the basic information about the world and himself the child receives from parents. In addition, parents have the unique opportunity to influence the child to physical, emotional and social dependence on them.
The family is a small (primary) group, which consists of individuals associated with two types of relations: supruga STV and kinship, which provides a person’s emotional stability, security and personal growth.
The family has a number of functions, which can be divided into institutional and basic. Institutional functions are impersonal. These include:
– the function of reproduction;
– primary social and sexual control;
economic support of children;
– support disabled;
– protection of the rights of the child’s full development.
The basis functions are aimed at people satisfy their personal needs in the family. These include:
– satisfaction of needs in love;
– the function of emotional support and the development of individuality;
– the function of self-affirmation, self-realization, personal growth;
– psychotherapeutic function of the family;
– the function of social responsibility for each family member;
– the function of forming positive relationships;
– the function of forming a cultural community.
Modern family has lost many functions, cementious her in the past: production, security, education, etc. A larger value currently acquired the following functions: psychological security, emotional satisfaction of all family members and preparing children for life in society. Their implementation implies the maturity of feelings and psychological culture.
Highly integrated family differs in that its members are well aware of the individual psychological characteristics of each other and have large reserves of influence on each other; it is characterized by a high level of development of mutual aid, and its members have a well-developed “Rosemarie” motives; family has a good contact and interaction with the social world. This family is also called cohesive. Close-knit family has the following features: trust, sympathy, concern all members of each other are the easiest and most natural way to meet their own needs. Among the intrinsic properties of Mature families, can be called high self-esteem, direct, clear and honest communication, flexible and humane rules of conduct. In such a family members focused on the intellectual and personal growth, social attitudes positive and open.
The appearance of the child in the family is always a challenge for parents. Mastering and shaping the role of the father or mother is the most important task of personality development in adulthood and check the strength of family relationships.
The development of the role of women as mothers is complicated by the fact that during this period the goals for professional growth and career. Awareness of their capabilities and priorities can contribute to a more favorable accommodation of the conflict between these aspects of a woman’s life. A woman can influence parental attitudes. In typical installations, the expectant mother learns from his parents, V. K. Losev identifies the following:
“Before you have children, it is necessary to stand firmly on his feet in the material and professional attitude”. The cultivation of such a facility allows parents to renew my daughter’s sense of their own immaturity and unrealized. Daughter for a long time feels dependent on parents.
“the Appearance of a child brings a lot of worries and experiences”. Parents instilled in her daughter the idea that the role of the mother is primarily concerned with the difficulties and does not bring happiness. Thereby forming a negative perception of the maternal role.
“You’re still the child”. This setting is to the desire of parents to demonstrate their superiority over the daughter.
“You’re selfish, and the mother must sacrifice everything for her children”. The hidden meaning of this installation – mother should completely abandon their desires.
Preparing for motherhood is not to follow the often unrealistic demands of parents, and to rethink their own life experiences, to become aware of feelings that arise in the period of preparation for motherhood.
The social role of the father is difficult, however, that the evidence creates a lot of traps in its development. G. S. Abramova highlights some of them:
trap simple goal – the refusal of an awareness of existential purpose in the role of the father (“Feed, sing, dress, what more do you want?”);
– trap of the anticipated obligation (“I am your father, so you have me to love and respect”);
– trap of normality or “all of the people” – refusal to understand and accept the uniqueness of your life and the lives of his family members;
– trap of right forces, or “against scrap no reception” -focus on violent ways to resolve conflicts related to the demonstration of power;
trap age (“I’m young, I want to walk”, “He’s a kid, let him busy mom”);
– trap gift (“I told him all buy what they want”) -ignoring personal communication;
– trap of superiority sex – refusal other than male, ways of solving problems in life;
– trap the social value of sex (“I will choose any”, “the Man everywhere need n”) leads to the abandonment of deep feelings;
– trap of jealousy towards children unwillingness to reckon with the fact that the wife belongs to children, the elderly and all other people.
The clarification of attitudes and expectations of young parents on the role of mother and father is one of the tasks of the psychologist in providing psychological support for the family.
R. Chomentowski believes that the education of children in the family, you must consider the following points:
– the child is not just a product of the educational influences of the parents. He is active, he comprehends family and myself in it, determines their behaviour, attitude to the family and to himself. To some extent the child is the teacher himself;
– children because of their limited experience, a kind of thinking differently than adults, perceive and evaluate what is happening around. To understand their behavior, emotions, experiences and help them only to look at the world through their eyes;
– on children is influenced not only by the deliberate influence of the parents, but even more all the features of the behavior of the parents, including either adults or the child is not conscious.
Psychological criteria by which to judge the psychological welfare of the child in the family:
– expressed the experience of pleasure from communicating with loved ones;
– the feeling of freedom, of autonomy when dealing with parents;
– confidence and self-sufficiency;
– the ability to see their weaknesses and the ability to ask the help from others;
– the ability to see your error as if from the outside and not to associate with his personality.