Self-assessment of preschool children
“And blade of grass and worthy of the great world in which he grows” — believes Rabindranath Tagore. Only the blade of grass and did not even think he is worthy and what is not, how to not think about it everything in nature – small and large. It does not measure yourself and growing yourself and growing, fulfilling its purpose. Probably self-esteem issues unique to humankind. Apparently, this is the fee for the mind, for the high ability to analyze, compare, draw subjective conclusions, to improve. Often to the detriment of the sense. The paradox in the pursuit of their significance, we lose their own importance. And this confusion begins in a person’s life very early, offensively early. Low self-esteem of a child is a topic for serious discussion and reflection, as well as a reason for hard work. Because all unresolved childhood issues do not disappear anywhere, they backpack, heavy or not, hanging on the shoulders of human life. Isn’t it better to remove this backpack as soon as possible?
Most interesting is that the children are never born with low self-esteem. They don’t assess myself, and just live, adapting to the world or trying to adapt the world to himself. To assess and compare start parents with a “good” submission standards – medical, pedagogical and psychological. And immediately afterwards there is the emotion of pride and admiration for his “advanced” Chad, or annoyance at the Laggards and fear for his future. Emotion creates action, often fussy: quickly, quickly, they begin to engage, grow, eat, etc. to catch up, or Vice versa – since we are early, we will look back on the regulations that they write about older age? Later, the comparison and analysis of the baby starts society — kindergarten and school. Sometimes tactless and straightforwardness adults and cruelty of peers complete the shattered equilibrium. If the society is nothing you can do and this is quite normal, at home, in the family it is quite possible to make a “vaccine” against low self-esteem that will help adequately and with dignity to accept unpleasant scratches the outside world, and sometimes to confront some of its manifestations.
Low self-esteem — a dangerous thing, especially in childhood. More dangerous even than inflated, in this case life inevitably will adjust the process, however, sometimes very painful. And underestimating yourself, accepting yourself, as a unit of the universe, little man includes a program of self-destruction. Which is slowly but surely catching balance. Low self-esteem — this is the ground for fears of all kinds and colors, isolation, inability to see the good in people and in yourself, inability to rejoice. This is the germ of envy, jealousy, anger and discouragement. In adolescence in the most unexpected moment can all break into such a storm that the debris will not be easy to collect.
In any case don’t want to scare, but to recall a vivid example of one of literature — “Crime and punishment”. Stillwater became unmanageable. And remember the motive? To prove to myself and everyone that “right” that I’m not “loathsome creature”, and man. This, of course, extremely painful manifestation, turned inside out and completely inadequate, but in the grain, based on all the same problem with self-esteem.
What to do if your child has low self-esteem? Work on yourself first and foremost parents. “True education of the child is the education of ourselves,” — Amonashvili sh. And indeed it is.
Learning unconditional love. It seems to be clear – accept and love. It is not difficult, because we are talking about your own child, his own flesh and blood. But a small step from unconditional love to a cult and connivance, often these tracks are confused. Unconditional love – a spring feeding and giving the opportunity and freedom to grow and develop. She’s not blind, she is able to guide and stop, if it violates the laws of love and morality. Unconditional love is not irritable, not annoyed, not offended.
Each of us has some drawbacks. Teach ourselves and teach our children) to see them as if from the outside: Yes, they are (faults) are mine, but they’re not me. They do not cling to me tightly, everything can be changed if desired.
Learn to see your originality and uniqueness. Let there are millions of people with a similar appearance and a similar character, with the same joys and dreams, problems and questions. Let many of them are talented in something a hundred times. But the combination of all these qualities, their proportion is unique in each person, any other person nowhere! Isn’t it a miracle? And next to us the same unique and unique people.
Praise. Praise your child sincerely, to be exact – from the soul. Seek and find good. Praise has to bring joy and trust, be a stimulus for further movement, but not a point in any action. She must be sincere, in this case the catch is felt is very thin and is treated very badly. And that praise was not “for fun”, life challenges the child should be capable of, but on the ceiling of its current capabilities. Of course, not always possible to “filter” these same tasks, sometimes life offers them not by age. But that’s another topic.
Once upon a time caught the eye of the analogy with the Symphony. The whole world is playing this polyphonic orchestral Symphony, and the life of every creature – it note. Long or short, soft or shrill, high or low. Is it for the world it is what it is! And there is nothing in this Symphony unnecessary or important notes. It would seem, try to hear your voice in this Piece – maybe that’s the meaning of life, and happiness?