Recommendations for parent
Such a sentence the teacher gives parents a bombshell. “I’m a bad teacher”, “what will others think of me if they knew”, “as ashamed in front of the teacher” – these thoughts fireworks fly in the mind of confused adults, and the reaction is often immediate. The father pulls out a strap, mother in tears begins to appeal to the conscience of the child. And then, before parents apply radical methods of education, for assistance must come pedagogue or psychologist, who will help to answer the eternal Russian question: «Who is to blame and what to do?”
The basis for the theft can serve a variety of reason, we can distinguish the following types of theft:
1. Kleptomania– painful passion of a man for theft. The kleptomaniac desire to steal comes as impulsive as attack. For such a person no matter what to take, it attracts the very act of theft, which relieves emotional stress and internal discomfort, and the satisfaction which he feels at that, akin to narcotic drugs. Things that takes a kleptomaniac, its absolutely not attracted to you, he stashes, sometimes simply forgetting about them. Treated this disease by a psychiatrist and is quite rare. However, if the actions of your child fits this description, one way out – to consult a specialist.
2. «to Steal one”.
In this case we are dealing with the “spontaneous” theft. Tempted, the child takes a strange thing and, being exposed, is experiencing a powerful stress. Typically, these children formed the norms of social behavior, they know what is good and bad, are able to control their impulsive urges. The act of stealing is not intentional, and the child subsequently sincerely repents.
Another cause spontaneous theft may be the desire of a child to assert themselves and to feel their importance, to gain prestige in the group, and if other means to realize he does not find, it is on such a mischievous act.
To attract the attention of parents – the next reason that the child can go on stealing. This occurs most often with children of primary school age. Parents are too busy to give the child enough time. “How was school? Well. Well done! Bad, got a deuce? Ah, well, now tell me, what happened”. Gradually the child begins to understand that negative actions attract more attention to loved ones. And then the child commits a theft, that he “notice”. He doesn’t need money (things), the child need to communicate with parents, even if it is a negative contact, but it will be aimed at Him.
3. Systematic theft.
It ’ s parents, the most exciting type of theft. The child steals often and in different situations. However, he understands that to someone else – this is not good, however, to abandon the rush “steal” anything. For these children the inherent problems in all activities associated with an effort: to take lessons, keep personal belongings in order to brush your teeth. It’s hard to follow the rules in team games, to obey the restrictions in time and space. It is not the maturity of the self-test, hypoplasia of the volitional sphere, leads to the fact that the child begins to take things without permission, which he liked to steal money or to buy what you want. Often without realizing it, parents make “no favours”, trying to substitute self-control the child’s own regulatory actions, involving and teachers: “He’s so unorganized, You’re gonna follow him”. And as a result grows people with no self-discipline and willpower.
What to do?
“If the situation is hopeless, come out through the entrance” – says the proverb. Knowing the cause of the theft of a child, can safely with this phenomenon to fight.
So, if in a family friendly atmosphere and parents are adequate enough, then you should start with the fact that more attention and love to a child. Communication should not be restricted to talking about how the day went at school. To be careful – means to spend free time together: reading books, playing cooperative games, talk on the various “everyday” theme. Share with your child your thoughts, tell us about your own childhood and experiences of youth. Over time, you will discover the inner world of your child, you will learn: what he wants is friends with whom, what is the scope of his interests.
Very useful to hold joint weekends, preferably with departure on the nature. Not bad to grab a couple of friends your son – troublesome, but worth it. In joint ventures and Yes even with his comrades, the child will not only gain confidence and respect to you, but will be full of pride for these parents.
Reading for the night – is another way to make contact with the child. Discussing books, sharing experiences, you open your inner world to your child, thus getting closer to him. It is important that the child came to trust parents, felt the sincerity of their intentions. And then, in an atmosphere of love and understanding the problem of theft will go away on its own.
However, not always sufficient to create a favorable microclimate in the house. Children who have disorders of volitional functions, need help on their formation. Start with the fact that:
1. Stop substitute conation of the child’s own impulses.
2. Teach the child responsibility at an early age, for example, may in his duties include daily buy fresh bread, watering the flowers, or watching younger brother. Explain how important it is for you and for the whole family.
3. Use exercises for the development of willpower. For example, hang in the nursery two couple hours. Some will go accordingly to the time of day, while others leave without batteries and external glass. Giving the child a task: to clean the bathroom, fold the portfolio, pay attention to the clock. Verify that the performance of this work will be given 15 minutes on the clock, “not go” move the hands to a time when the job should be done. The child should receive clear instructions: the instructions are to be executed, by that time, when clocks will be showing the same time. This exercise promotes the development of self-discipline and organization.
4. Write down the child in the sports section, that as a sport is not accustom it to maintain discipline and order, and will form his inner willpower.
And finally, a few General rules that all parents should know:
1. Prevention of child stealing start with a confidential conversation. Only by knowing the reasons for the action of the child, you will be able to successfully deal with this phenomenon.
2. Talk with your child about the theft alone and in a relaxed atmosphere. Folk wisdom says: “Praise, scold in publish”.
3. Discard the labels type “thief”, “offender” and “theft”, “theft”. Replace them with concepts: “to take someone else”, “to take without permission”. The use of such definitions in relation to the child may lower his self-esteem and in the future lead to new offenses.
4. Stress to your child, you need to return the stolen item. If he is ashamed or scared to do it yourself, go together.
5. Don’t be afraid to give the child pocket money, it will save him from wanting to steal and learn to save.
And remember the words of the American writer Erma Bombeck: “a Child needs your love most when he least deserves it”.