How to wean the child to lie?
All parents want their child up decent and from an early age begin to raise the baby and explain that lying is bad. But anyway, sooner or later, the child is fooled. An adult needs to understand why this happened, and to think, how to act in this situation.
The most common parental reaction is anger and a desire to get rid of the child lie in any way. But this reaction is nothing but the opposite effect, and the next lie will be more thoughtful. So how do I teach my child to lie?
Children only at the age of five or six years begin to distinguish between reality and fantasy, and by 7-8 years separate these concepts from each other more clearly. If the child is older than seven years of age continues to lie, then it is likely you have some problems.
Famous psychologist A. Fromm pointed out 4 main causes of children’s deception:
1. The deception necessary in order to get love and praise adults;
2. Deception for the sake of concealing the guilt, mischief;
3. Deception for the purpose of avoiding penalties;
4. The deception by which the child wants to show their hostility to adults.
So why, reacting sharply on children’s false we are doing wrong? When we look at the reasons that motivate the kid to the hype, we understand that our discontent in response to the cheating only reinforces the desire to lie. The child will cease to believe in themselves and to avoid in the future of your reproaches, will do that, in his opinion, can be done. Besides this will increase the hostility against parents for being rude to him.
How to wean a child to lie? The first thing to do is try to instill in the child a confidence in your understanding and support to ensure that he did not want to deceive. Very silly to put pressure on children by their authority.
If the child will know that you love him and treat him well, he will have less reason to cheat. Children often lie because they’re afraid to tell adults the truth. Adults should convey to the child the idea that they are on his side.
In order for the child listening to mom or dad, you can try to tell him: “Come on, you tell me how it exactly happened. The whole truth from beginning to end, I will not punish you if you deserve it. But don’t hide anything, and I won’t punish you, even if you are guilty. If you’re wrong, I’ll help you to understand what you did wrong.”
Quite important and adult relationship with the child. After all, we often uchityvaem their children for elementary mistakes and misdeeds, for what the kid did all right. But, sometimes, we make our children too many requirements, and so they just can’t perform. Plus, above, pours oil on the fire and our impatience, fatigue. As a result, we lose it with the kids. When they don’t deserve it for the most part. As a result, children get the idea that you can hide your transgressions, in order to save good location moms and dads.
How to raise an honest child? Tips for parents:
How to wean a child to lie? Trust and understanding .
Learn to believe their child, because children usually trust us, if we trust them, and if they lie, they rather unwittingly, than specifically. Let the child will feel your confidence, help him in this.
For example, if you say to your child, knowing him very cocky and impulsive nature, before going for a walk or to visit: “today don’t fight! If you will complain, I will punish you!” A baby has a certain pattern of behavior. A grown man provokes such phrases, however unconsciously, the child on bad deeds. Better to say in such cases: “you today I’ll try to behave more cautiously and quietly”.
Child to trust adults, must keep his word. Of course, in life anything can happen, and can happen so that to keep his promise to your child, did not work. In this case, you need to apologize to him and explain why it happened.
How to wean a child to lie? Good or bad?
Talk with the child, explain to him that the power of peace in you the truth, speaking the language of children – it is always useful. If people will only trust relationship, then they will live in peace, friendship and harmony. Imagine with your child is a society in which people lie and don’t understand each other. Tell him the history of dishonest people, about their cheating and about what happened. Explain to your child that cheating is always open, and people who lie lose the most valuable thing for human respect and trust.
How to wean a child to lie? Do not press on the baby!
Do not provoke such situations in which the child is easier to lie. No need to ask inaccurate or too pressing questions, which easier to give a false answer. For example, the kid lost a phone, you know, or just suspect in this child. No need to ask him: “is that You lose your phone?” better to say: “I know that the phone you lost. Tell me how it happened”. In this case, the possibility of fraud on the part of the child is excluded. The more adult is configured with kindness, and to tell baby a lie there is no need.
High demands, strict punishment, strong parental pressure on the child — talk about lack of understanding of child nature, crisis States or of the characteristics of age. All this will inevitably lead to false of your child, for fear of getting into trouble.
How to wean a child to lie? There is no questioning!
Do not hold the interrogation. If the kid doesn’t confess, what you think, question and stand your ground just useless. Try to convince the child that honest people do not do that, and this situation must be corrected. And say: “I hope you don’t fool me. But if you lied to me, I’m too upset”.
How to wean a child to lie? Encourage honesty.
When a child is admitted to the violation, show him the joy experienced by you: “even if you did not well, the main thing is that you found the strength to admit what you did! I’m glad and proud of you!”.
To punish in this case a child or not? He confessed to the crime? If you apply the punishment, then another time he did not dare to tell the truth. May not be punished? Then he may not understand that he did something wrong. Compromise can be a conditional sentence. Allow your child to improve. At that show and explain the negative consequences that arose after his deed. Reason together.
How to wean a child to lie? A personal example.
By example, show your child the need to be honest. If parents regularly hold conversations with your child that it is wrong to cheat, and they do it in his presence, the advantage of such conversations will not. And as a result, the concept of honesty to it, too, is relative.
Babies cannot understand the double standards. So in a sticky situation when they witnessed your lies, you need to explain all the background events. Better to admit your mistake and say such unpleasant situation there are sometimes in life.
Undoubtedly, you should try to bring honesty not only in children, but in ourselves.