Errors of family education
All parents raise their children to the best of my skill and understanding of life, rarely thinking about why, in certain situations, posttime so and not otherwise. In every family there are times when the behavior of a loved child puts adults in Tupeak. And parents from time to time Sauveurthe culprit of the error.
A promise not to love
Parents often complain that children are contesting any request. According to them, the offspring are doing it out of spite and to encourage them to common sense is meaningless. The threat here is also not valid. In such cases many people use a kind Kozyring the card: “If you’re not going like I want, I won’t love you”. Odhowever, this threat is usually quickly Zabais called. Children feel fake. Once cheated, parents can Nadalth losing the trust of the child — he will perceive them as deceitful people. Rayneck to say: «I’ll still Liuto beat, but your behavior does not approve”.
“Do what you want, I don’t care”, ” parents often say, tired of the whim of a son or daughter. They do not argue, not looking for arguments that don’t prove anything consideredTy that there is no need to strain and nervychat as my child’s time to learn selfmu to solve their problems and prepare for independent adult life. But roparents should show the child that they don’t care what he does. Onchuvstvoval their indifference, he immediatebut will begin to test how it “onstanding”, and the check can be to initially committing bad deeds. The child will wait to the lastLi et for misdemeanor criticism. In a word, forMcNulty circle. Better instead of ostentatious indifference to try to make it work with rea Bank friendly relations, even if his behavior is not like parentsNML. We can say, for example: “you Know, in this matter I with you completely agree. But I want to help because I love you. At any time when you need my help, you can askcity I Council”.
Too much rigor
“You have to do what I’m toldLa, because I’m at home», — notrarely say mom in a conversation with rea Bank.
Children must obey the senior demonprikolbno — this is the most important prinDIC in education. Many parents believemelt that children cannot give concessions, otherwise they will eventually sit on the neck. However, too strict upbringing, OSnovenae on principles that are not always understoodtion to the child, recalls the training. In such cases, the child will bespecolike to perform in the presence of all parents and to consciously forget about all inhibitions when they’re not around. Persuasion better excessive rigor. If necessary, you can say: “now You will do as I say, and the vecherom we’ll talk”.
Children don’t need to indulge
Childhood — a short time, and that it is beautiful, able parentscolumns children from many difficulties. So nice to guess and to fulfill every wish of his child. But spoiled children struggle in life. If you keep them under the hood parenttion of love, it can lead to manythe number of problems. Removing literally everydy pebble road with the baby, the parents make the child happier. Rather, it often feels as interruptpower and loneliness. “just Try to do it myself, and if I fail, I will be happy to help», — one of the options is a wise attitude to docheri or son.
“My child ” my best friend», — sometimes parents say. For them, the child — the most important thing in life, because he’s intelligent, you can talk to him about everything. He understands them, like a real adult. Yes, kids, sometimes, doing everything to please their parents, because mom and dad for them the most important people in the world. The kids are even ready to dive into the complex world of adults. Unfortunately, with their own challenges remain.
«More money — better traintion”, ” some parents are convinced. But love cannot be bought by money. In families with low income adults who do not kNem, do it to a child in need. Parents don’t have the sense oftain remorse, if you can’t IPexecute any of his desire. Love, Laska, play together and held togeSTE leisure activities for the child is much more important than the contents of the purse of the parents. Scastleyou do not money, but the realization that he for parents the most.
“My child will play music (tennis, painting), I will not allow him to miss the chance”. The dream of many loving parents, especially those who in childhood was deprived of the opportunity to do ballet, learning to play the piano or to play tennis. Becoming parents, they set out to give children the beamneck education. They don’t care that the rebenoch this is not very much and wants. These parents are convinced that over time, children will appreciate the efforts of adults.
Unfortunately, this does not happen always. Often a bright future even none ated adults breaks on the complete unwillingness of the child to do, such asMer, music. He listens to adults, while small, but then. Wishing youto be torn from the cells of parental love, begins to protest available to it — roughness, leaving home, and even drug use. Somu when filled day of childmi and useful activities not necessary forto be about his desires, leaving time for personal Affairs.
The eighth error.
Too little affection
“a Kiss of tenderness and other not so important for the child”. Some Roditeli believe that affection in the children’s ageSTE will lead to further problems in his personal life that, in addition to hugs and kisses, there are more necessary and important things. However, remember that children of any age seek affection: it helps them to feel loved, gives confidence in their abilities. Samewish to snuggle up must come not only from parents but also from the rea child.
The ninth error.
Because of trouble at work, bad relations in the family adults often “youlet pairs” on the child. Many confideBered, that there is nothing to worry. Toit suffices then to cuddle the baby or to buy long-promised toy — and everything will be fine.
When adults, being in bad racesspirits, prohibit something childku, and the next day, when the mood is upmoose, it’s allowed, he concludes: still, what and how I do, most importantly, kasome of mom’s mood. However, if roparents feel themselves not to alter, it is better to agree in advance with the child: “When I’m in a good mood, you will not be allowed to do whatever youwant. And the poor — try to be condescending to me”.
Too little time
for child’s education
“sorry, I don’t have timeMeaney», — so say your son or daughter some parents, forgetting aboutoften the truth — gave birth, then have the time for him to find. Otherwise, the child will search for relateding of the soul among strangers and quickly distance themselves from their parents. Between them will grow wall nepanemation, exclusion, and can be, and whatdy. To destroy such a wall can be very difficult. Even if parents day scheduleSan by the minute, need night nyeti at least half an hour (here is more important than quality), sit at the bedside of the child, talkspeak with him, to recall that, despite theeven though your employment, he can always rely on parental help and support.