Collection of bad habits.
All the time getting their hands in your mouth, chew collar blouse, mommy’s hair is wound on the handle…so small, and has already acquired habits which are useful and good will not name…
What this habit? To understand how it operates the mechanism, imagine this situation. You like to wear clothes with pockets and periodically to keep them in hand. Try to wear clothes without pockets. You will notice that during a certain period of time your hand will automatically reach for my pockets more than once. It was the habit! Definitely not crowned with success, your attempts will become more and more rare and will gradually disappear. But it will take time.
“Foundation” bad habits
The “Foundation” for the origin of habits and the development of stereotype behavior in kids actions become quite harmless. Typically, the first “germs” cause no alarm among parents and does not portend problems in the future.
For example, the baby is 4-5 months aggressively pulls the handle in his mouth, trying somehow to relieve itching from proizvodima clove. Massaging Desenka fingers and lightly biting them, the child calms down. If you persevere and get the “massagers”, offering nothing in return, the child will literally freak out. And would you feel differently if you were scratching your nose, but being bound, you would be unable to do anything? But such a state does not leave the child during the day, up to 1-1,5 years!
During sleep, after the game and the weight of the daily experiences, the child sometimes overexcited and tries to help mom relax, relieve emotional tension. Then every kid acts different, sometimes surprising finding objects soothe: my mother’s hair, ears, arms, chest, etc. Repeating every day harmless action becomes a habit, which applies to all aspects of a child’s life. Now, in need of solace, the child tends to “object” relaxation at any excitement.
Why the habit persists?
The main reason for the saving habits – the unmet need of the child to rest, in the elimination of pain and discomfort, in search of protection, etc. If, for example, an attentive mother, seeing carefully scratching desenat, gave the child a teether, then the problem will not arise. Of itchy gums, teething, and handle the baby uses for their intended purpose, as a result, reasons for the emergence of habits no.
If, however, unmet need remains, and to help the child nobody wants, he’ll find a way out myself (will be sucking his fingers, chewing on the collar of a shirt, for example). And then we’ll fix this “achievement” as a habit.
How to help the child?
Absolutely necessary to accurately remember or figure out the cause of the habit. The only way to find out.
If the child begins to constantly bite your nails or twirl something (the edge of the skirt, toy, etc.) when communicating, prefers to sit in the “closed” postures (arms and legs crossed), look in the eyes during a conversation – the reason most likely lies in increased anxiety. To help you, only after analyzing the parent-child relationship and completely eliminating the “catalysts” of the problem.
Look at yourself!
Not many parents associate bad habits kids with drawbacks of their own behavior. Parental bad habits are not so harmless. And it’s not necessarily Smoking or picking your nose. It is about the habit of command, forced to live according to “the Charter”, to present to the child’s excessive demands. Still need to mention the constant, inexplicable, but definitely feel a little anxiety of the parents. And how expensive it is to parent children the habit of inconsistency (dad says “you”, mom – “no”, or one parent is constantly changing his point of view: we condone, “clamp nut,” etc.)!
If a child does not feel like a person, not finding the strength to growth and development, he’s looking for another outlet for his emotions. Including in repeated physical actions – habits. Immutable, always available, they comfort and help relieve or relive stress.
Only by changing the style of communication with the baby, parents will help to cope with a bad habit and will insure your baby from any serious psychological disorders in the future. Eliminate all potential “catalysts” increase the level of anxiety, not focus the kid on what he is fearful (for example, saying “mom in the garden is not to be”), preferring a life-affirming, positive emotions (“mommy loves her baby would not be, at home or in the garden”). Even being far from you, your child needs to feel the support, protection and to feel safe.
Down with pockets
If a habit is nothing more than “pockets on the robe”, attempt to eliminate the presence of these “pockets”. For example, the kid at every opportunity starts to handle you hair, carefully remove them, Pat, kiss, hug, in General, try to switch attention of the child, not hurting him. If the child is so important to feel something soft and gentle to calm down, offer him a stuffed toy. The toy does not have to be huge and occupy a dominant position in the crib, as well as small, inconspicuous it to be useless. Be prepared for the fact that you and your baby will be difficult, but if you will support each other and keep calm, everything will work out.
What else is in our power?
Completely eliminate any methods of violence, coercion and pressure from the child’s life. Not seated the child on the potty power, not “stuffed” persistently lunch in the child to the last crumb, do not allow yourself to physically punish a child (no straps, angles, standing, kneeling on peas, pulling at the collar, etc.)
Change the position
Change your attitude to emerging problems. That is not to “burn with a hot iron” effects, and to try to correct the cause.
For example, the causes of poor appetite may be hiding in the wrong diet. So, to eat with appetite, the child must spend enough time outdoors to spend their personal supply of energy during active rest, not to get snacking between meals, to obtain a full varied diet.
Do not drive!
You need to understand that quickly change the stereotype of behavior is impossible – it takes time. At times when your child feels the need for the habit, try to switch his attention to an interesting toy, and help to relieve emotional stress in a different way, for example, Pat on the back, head, hands. Simultaneously, showing the participation and attention to the situation, do not succumb to provocations. No sudden movements, shouts, prohibitions, just to Pat a baby pen, neatly put it in your hand and move away, for example, from the “subject of pacification”. In fact, you must create a new pattern of behavior, “good” habit, and it is extremely important that you choose the right method (massage, soothing warm bath, gentle hugs, pats, etc.).
But this strict prohibition applies not to the kids, and their parents.
Not always they are limited to humane expectation, the habit of giving time to the attenuation or understanding in the origins of its occurrence. The history of “folk art” is full of examples of quick and drastic measures, which, passing from generation to generation, cause the suffering of many kids. Benefactors don’t even think about the fact that the application of the most “barbaric” methods of weaning, for example, from “sucking” habits (fingers, mother’s breast, pacifiers, toys, own sponges, etc.) can cause serious harm to children’s health.