76 recipes appropriate communication with your child.
Dear readers – moms and dads, grandparents, caregivers and psychologists, teachers and babysitters!
It’s unlikely you’ll disagree with me if I say that our children every day offer us the kind of situation that is very, very difficult to deal with. But to leave the decision for later, too it is impossible: too much depends on our actions in these situations the future of our children. The future in the sense of whether they will be confident and adequately consider themselves as adults or will be a lifetime to overcome our complexes, obtained in childhood are not without our help.
So we bring you back to long ago, student practice, refer to the cheat sheet as an effective aid in emergency situations. We have selected 85 of the most common situations and suggested to them 85 variants of a possible way out of these situations. We don’t want to say that these options is the ONLY way out, but are convinced that solving the situation in this way, we will consider psychological and age peculiarities of our children and will not discredit their identity and dignity.
A FEW WORDS FOR PARENTS
As adults, many people try to forget their childhood.
Forgetting childhood, adults can not understand their own children. They require that children of the same meaningfulness of behavior, which themselves have acquired over the years of life, and life certainly had the time and found what they teach.
The children were not yet adults.
All they can understand about the rules of conduct and relations between people, comes from the experience of interacting primarily with their parents.
If parents drill and pressure, exactly the same will apply subsequently their children.
If you do not believe in their child, he does not believe in its capabilities and is unlikely to be successful in life.
Very few ever find the strength to break out of this circle.
Let’s remember his childhood with its joys and sorrows and try to understand the nature of some actions kids to find not only sensible, but also affordable (not suppress) the means of education.
A COUPLE OF WORDS FOR EDUCATORS AND OTHER PROFESSIONALS WORKING WITH CHILDREN
Our crib only give a hint of the necessary steps, but further the choice of strategy of business interaction with children, parents, colleagues, and managers.
Cribs are designed to help you in organization of daily work with children based on the principles of democratic, child-centered education. Conditionally they can be divided according to the content on organizational-methodical, organizational, behavioral and personality.
Based on the experience of teachers working in pre-school educational program “Community”, and our colleagues in different countries.
Sincerely, Lydia Svir
1. HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE CHILD
What is behind the “bad” behavior?
It happens that the child regularly demonstrates negative behavior: ostentatious disobedience, physical and verbal aggressiveness, cruelty, abuses his powers.
Should simultaneously do three things.
1. To determine the possible factors contributing to the child’s behavior and begin to change them.
2. Create the home or the classroom with an atmosphere of caring, understanding, support and encouragement that children no longer need to show defiant behavior.
3. To constructively intervene in situations where children behave badly, correct the behavior, to teach the skills of self-control and self-respect.
How to be…
Any bad behavior is the cause, although sometimes it is difficult to detect.
Bad behavior “works”, and the child gets what he wants (a toy, attention).
Bad behavior can be “the norm” is typical of what a child sees at home.
Bad behavior can be a way of expressing anger, fear or other emotions. The child simply does not know the correct way of expression.
Loss of control can be caused by physical factors: poor nutrition, well-being, allergies, autism or developmental delays.
Children feel helpless, useless and claim his power and rightness.
Children don’t know any other way to get what they want.
Understanding may be the main way of helping the baby.
An effective strategy to help children, demonstrating negative behavior is by giving them independence. Children should be able to make a choice, to assume leadership and responsibility. Children are important, that they were taken seriously and were assigned difficult tasks.
Another way to prevent bad behavior is to clearly explain to the kids what is expected of them. Should prepare children’s success, not to catch their mistakes and educate on the denial of their behavior.
The least effective method of response – punishment.
The majority of children demonstrating negative behavior, already feel demoralized and weak. Punishment only exacerbates their feelings, impairs the response to the caregiver, leading to rivalry between a child and an adult instead of trust and respect.
How and what to praise your child?
All we want to be noticed and praised. What does a child who hands you have just made the picture and asks: “Beautiful?” Maybe he feels insecure or has low self-esteem, or he wants to make contact, or looking for validation of their actions, or…
Maybe just say: “Good, beautiful”? So often we do. So often do and not worth it.
How to be…
So, the child shows the picture you just drew.
You (looking with keen interest, with approval in his voice): “You drew here a big house… coming out of the pipe thick smoke… and at the bottom I see something blue, there is still an empty space…”
When the products of the activity of the child meet such an indifferent reception, if there is attention to detail, the child usually forgets the original question and begins to understand their actions. You can hear the child takes up the words of an adult, shall be included in the conversation and comment on the picture: “I Have three Windows – one mother, second father, but this works for me and Dinghy. But here by the river. There will be a machine I have not had time to draw, now I can draw…” Ponder these words, feel like changing the child’s condition. If in the beginning was the dependence on the word of an adult, in the course of conversation, the child has received the required approval, but also felt informal interest, became established in their achievements, into the face, saw the prospect of their actions.
Now the child is free and appreciates their work.
You think, as always, too long?
Use sometimes a short sentence: “it is not what I consider beautiful, but what do you think about my picture”. “It’s important that you think for yourself.”
– Look what I’m doing.
– You’re playing with clay.
– What do I do?
– You can do whatever you want.
– Okay, I’ll do the bird.